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Big Boys Don’t Cry; but we should let them know it’s okay to… In a recent study focusing on male high school students in suburban Southern Connecticut, Rebecca Timlin-Scalera, Ph.D., finds that many males cite strong reactions to their town culture, and intense desires to “fit in” by being strong and successful, as the primary reasons for not seeking formal help with emotional problems. This is an important discovery for local parents, mental health providers, and educators in an area of abundant resources, where male adolescents struggle daily, though often in isolation, with perceived pressures of wealth and success, high expectations, and communal demands. Many young males report that they do thrive in their local communities and the opportunities provided by them. However, they also indicate that the high expectations of strength and success contribute to a gender-linked stigma that causes them to view seeking help for their emotional issues as a sign of weakness in their communities. Beyond anger, which tends to be a more sanctioned male emotion, these young men state that it is often difficult to even acknowledge emotions to others. The good news is that the study’s adolescent participants, articulate young males and their female contemporaries, offer valuable suggestions aimed at making professional mental health services more acceptable to this male population. Their suggestions include, improving accessibility to professionals and increasing students’ familiarity with them, so that when a problem does arise, they will know where to turn and to whom they will be turning. They also suggest improved education and outreach efforts to familiarize students with the process, logistics, and rationale for seeking emotional help. Once sought, the study’s participants note that, for males in particular, action-oriented counseling would be preferable to “just sitting and talking about what’s wrong.” Adolescents, parents, and school mental health professional participants alike, suggest that interventions focused on helping males identify and develop a particular niche would likely be immensely beneficial in improving self-esteem, coping mechanisms, and expanding their resources and outlets. In addition, all interviewees agree that broader social change is needed to teach boys from a young age that it is acceptable for them to have and express feelings other than anger and that there are resources in their communities and schools to help them process these emotions. ___________________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Timlin-Scalera’s study will be featured in an upcoming issue of The Journal of Counseling Psychology. She has recently joined in practice with Dr. Robert Tepley of Neuropsychology Consultants, LLC in Norwalk, CT. Both are Norwalk Hospital affiliated neuropsychologists, who, in addition to their specialties in neuropsychological assessment, pain management, and health psychology, are also experienced with developmental issues and general psychological treatment for children and adolescents. They can be reached at their outpatient offices: 203 855-9691.
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